December

I am in the predictable stages of moving to a new place.  Been here in this emotional place before but it's never easy nor pleasant. My first month here I saw some spiders and thought they were brown recluse and so I was really spazzed out about that.


I picked up my anti-depressant but the color of the pill is different from my usual ones from Roden Smith.  I hope they do the job.  I'll run out of anti-dep in 3 months.

Laughlin was mostly a waste of time.  I was disappointed in Esther.  I had one dinner with them when Greg wasn't with me and she didn't say a word to me.  I'm not going to waste anymore time going out to that ugly Laughlin.  Vegas was good and it would have been better if we hadn't have stayed so long.  John gets on my nerves sometimes; he talks about his issues like he's trying to use you for a psychiatrist; they call that "dumping" in program .  When he told me that he had an anger problem; I thought oh boy, I'm not going to have much to do with you anymore.  Angie is housebound and not driving their car!  She has lost alot of her joy de vivre and appears depressed.  She and I had a nice time talking and going out to shop.  We had a really nice talk the last day we were there.

I got sick one day and was just overwhelmed I guess with trying to adjust to too much in my life all at one time.... moving, on vacation and holidays.  I started with the nausea routine which later developed into diarrhea additionally.  I knew it was stress related after that.  I went to bed and ate crackers and 7up the rest of the day.  Thankfully, I didn't have to go to the emergency room.  I was trying to avoid that.  Angie was wonderful and caring and Greg was awesome.

We left and I had told Angie that we were probably going to leave that day.  I woke her up to tell her that we were leaving.  She was awake when I told her.  We had already been there four days.   We drove down to Laughlin.   When visiting friends....  Angie's house was way too warm and her 3 birds were just continually squacking.  That's the only thing about staying with friends.  But her house was gorgeous.  It took a little time to adjust to Angie again.  Her northness being from New York, being Russian.  That just takes time though.  She has a heart of gold and when I am with her, I remember why we first became friends.

We left and went through Flagstaff which we both like.  No problems on the road.  Smooth sailing.  Up in the mountains at 6,900 feet, we got bombed with another dump of snow again.  Housebound again.  Irritating.  The holidays this year have not seemed like holidays at all.  Our next trip out to AZ whenever that will be...  we'll go to Sedona, Cottonwood, Jerome and Flagstaff.  I intended to try to get my hair done, etc. and still hope to get that done as well as get gifts for Greg and then fly out to Mother's after Christmas.

I need to relax and give it time.  Just trust the universe.  Make wise decisions and trust the universe.  That doesn't mean be blindly naive and trusting with no endeavors.  It means do the best I can and let the power of the Universe complete the rest.    The holidays this year have not felt like the holidays at all!  Yeah, the bank just dragged the loan out and the mortgage loan officer abandoned the loan and yes, I had to deal with San Diego BofA and after six months finally they got the loan through..... just in time for the holidays.   I was a patient angel.  I am not happy now that my holidays were ruined because of their errors. I missed parties in Clovis.  But oh well!  It all comes out okay in the end.

Greg and I had a nice talk last night and I discovered again why I love him and find him interesting.  Certainly, he BSes alot but I do appreciate who he is ... most of the time.  Greg is getting overwhelmed with too much to do all at one time.  I'll just give him a break.  During the move, he packed alot.  More than I thought.  He packed the computer room, his bathroom and the front bedroom.  I need to refrain from putting alot of pressure on him to do things (those things that I can't do ...lifting,etc.)   What is my impatience and hurry to get things settled?  Relax, just breathe.