Dafnee has gone to the rainbow bridge

Dafnee was a sweet shy dog who vigorously wagged her tail everytime we were around. She was a black labrador/whippet mix ~ she was muscular at 69 pounds, liked to nap, had sweet eyes and a sweet little face. She, at the very first, followed me around and would shy away from Greg. Of course, that told us that she was frightened of men. We really loved her. We miss her. We looked forward to her long life with us. She was an eager little drinker and liked to slurp her water. It was cute. She was cute and lovable. I can't believe she's gone. Friday 7/17/09, during the day, I noticed that she was isolating..... She was sleeping in the back hall or on the couch. Then Saturday, Greg noticed that there was blood in her urine. We immediately called our vet on emergency.

Greg took her in to be hospitalized. Dr. H called us late in the day on Saturday and said that the tick fever had gone to her brain and he had her on anti-seizure meds as well as antibiotics. I remembered that the CAWL (animal welfare league) rep had told me that when she picked Dafnee up that Dafnee was covered with ticks. After we had adopted her --- some 8 weeks ago, I took Dafnee to get her neutered. Then her shots. Dr. H had told us that she had really bled during the operation. Given the symptoms written about this tick disease, she probably had it then. That poor little girl. I think of how sick she must have been during all that time and perhaps that's why she was so malaised when I saw her at the animal control facility at the very beginning. We both feel sad and going through a loss we didn't anticipate having.

Dr. H had told me this afternoon (at 24 hours in the facility) that Dafnee was sick and he was worried about her. I'm not sure what exactly he meant; but I took it to mean that she was not doing well. He told me her prognosis was guarded. I asked him if he could keep her another 24 hours. He said, I can call you back in another four hours. I talked to Greg and he said, we should put her down. I can't help thinking on top of my sadness, was doctor's facility crowded? It feels like there was missing information? Or is this my imagination?

The feeling of loss even though we had that sweetness in our lives eight weeks or so, wrings us out. Takes the wind out of our sails. I feel a void and a loss that is unfillable..... that life will never be the same again. Maybe I am attempting to go through the bargaining part of loss. May be I'm second guessing to make sure that we did the right thing. I hope we did the right thing for her. We love and loved her so.