March 03, 2010 entry

Some things that have gone on this week have generated some thoughts.  There is an importance of having the adult maturity of making sure that you grow yourself up to relate to life with maturity; to not let minutia rock your world and to pay close attention to economic realities as well as emotional needs and concerns. 

It took a long time for me to grow up.  Many people like me, may or may not have done 'stupid things' when they were younger.  There are others who go out and achieve their educational goals but who have not done the work it takes to emotionally grow up.  It takes both to have a great life.  There is a great book out on Emotional Intelligence (which I recommend).


If a person is not emotionally grown up and has not tackled their wounds of the past and resolved them (with help); those wounds will continue to ride shotgun with you and have a tendency to take away from the joy of life.  When it was clear to me that I didn't know how to live my life, I went to get help and it changed my life for the better.  I don't understand the social stigma surrounding going to get help.  I do think it's stupid to put a stigma on it.  The process I went through, along with excellent therapists saved my life and changed my life.  It gave me a peacefulness that I had never had before.  I also used to be such a people pleaser and to some degree I still use that "survival behavior" but now, I don't care as much about whether a person likes me or doesn't like me or someone doesn't approve.  Maybe it's age.  Maybe it's a combination of age plus work on myself.  I learned much more about intimacy (Into Me You See).


I don't understand how most people live their lives without help occasionally.  I met some of my friends in 12 Step groups.  Those people, working on themselves, are more introspective and at least in my experience have a tendency to be more in touch with their own lives and thus, better friends.  At least in Overeaters Anonymous and Adult Children groups, I learned about cognitive deficits and have learned to recognize those in myself.  My work on myself over a 10+ year period  certainly makes me a better friend and my life a much better emotional quality.  I can say - that this is the best part of my life.  I love my life.